Will Smith was interviewed a while back and he talked about his reason for his successful marriage. He said there is no way that there won’t be really hard times in any marriage. If divorce is an option, then eventually, something will be difficult enough to bring down a marriage. For Will and Jada, divorce is not an option. Will and Jada SmithBecause divorce is not an option for them, when the hard times come along, they work it out. But to have a happy marriage, not just an enduring one, there’s more to it than that. In the past, when my mother was a divorcee’, that was shameful because it was so rare. That word isn’t even used today. Yes, people stayed married but that doesn’t necessarily mean they were happier.

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All those aspects of what makes a marriage happy and enduring can be learned. The sad thing today is that divorce IS an option for most couples and combined with no marriage skills, when things get difficult–and they always do–divorce is just too easy. What’s hard is to take responsibility, admit you both need to change and dig in and take the steps necessary to learn new skills. Then, after all has been tried, opt for divorce from a wiser position, not as an easy fix. To learn the skills necessary to create an amazing marriage, I have two programs that can make the difference between divorce and a happy, fulfilling marriage. One is Men Made Easy and the other is Marriage Makeover Manual. It does take some effort, but the rewards are definitely worth it. And if you want to know if he’s a Caveman, a Dog, a Prince, or all three, you’ll want to download my three free ebooks at KaraOh.com.

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At the core of this issue is how differently men and women view marriage. For starters, most women are preparing to get married from day one, when they first fell in love with their daddy. Didn’t you and your friends pretend wedding? By contrast, how many little boys were playing wedding? For women, getting married is a dream-come-true; the culmination of the fantasy that began the first time they heard a fairy tale with a prince in it. Isn’t that what princes are for, to whisk the beautiful maiden off to his castle to live happily-ever-after? Sure, some of you are into your careers and postponing marriage, but if you follow any conversation between women, eventually they’ll get around to talking about men and their relationships with men.

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Because those couples didn’t necessarily have great marriage skills, many of them were not “happily” married. They tolerated each other, they slept in different rooms, they lived their lives, putting one step in front of the other. So where is the successful balance of “divorce is not an option” and being “happily married?” Well, we need to learn how to communicate effectively, to know how to avoid the build-up of resentment – which is one of the quickest, and easiest, ways to kill love – how to consciously keep the romantic love alive, to keep sex a priority, to have fun together, to continue to trust and respect each other all the things that are essential to a happy marriage

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We laugh and joke all the time about how men don’t want to get married. But men do get married all the time; two and a half million of them every year. And how many adult men (who are straight) do you know who have never been married? Hardly any. But there is some truth to the jokes because men do seem to drag their heels and put it off as long as possible.

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